We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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