Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
wanna go halves on a baby?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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