he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize