I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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