Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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