I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
