So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
