Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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