I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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