its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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