tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
