I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
