11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
