ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
