Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
