Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
