I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
