I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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