she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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