I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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