He told me they were just razor bumps!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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