Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
