I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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