Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
