He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize