tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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