I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
