okay pat passed out under dana's car
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
