She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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