What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
