my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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