Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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