before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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