guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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