ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
