I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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