Are we in a gay sports bar?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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