Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
