I just cut my nipple shaving
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
