But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
