Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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