How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
