you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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