She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
