I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
