i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize