So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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