I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize