M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
