you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
