Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
