Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
