i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I could punch you in the face.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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