dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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