Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
