You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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