Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
