i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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