Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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