Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
