I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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