He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
